Social learnings


This is my second blog based on reflections from a movie (first one was Dabangg and now KICK both featuring Salman Khan). In this movie Salman Khan enjoys the thrill (kick) of doing new things, challenging status quo and fighting the system for a cause while his girlfriend Jacqueline wants to lead a life of 10 to 5 secured job, almost no risk and a stable non challenging life (a life without any kick as per Salman). So one day Salman says to her that we will need to part ways as we think so differently of our lives and he says to her while parting “I want to get old with you and not old because of you”. While Salman made this bold move to part ways before he got married when I look around I see many people not making such moves and are getting old because of each other (life without kick) and not old together (life with kick). This holds true in the relationship not only between husband and wife but also between father and son, between two siblings, between managers and their reportees as well as between colleagues.
In most of my earlier blogs I have talked about taking ownership, responsibility of creating anything you want and on similar lines I would like to share few thoughts and ideas on creating a kick and becoming old together without parting ways.
Kick with your spouse: In many of my sessions participants say that they are not able to do many things (kick) because their spouse does not support them. So I ask them few questions like how many times in last 30 days have they thanked their spouse for keeping their breakfast ready, packing their lunch box, packing their travel bag, managing kids and taking care of their ageing (sometimes ailing) parents. How is this connected to kick? It is a very simple math that to get kick you need to give kick. The most basic kick of every human being is recognition and appreciation. While at work the HR R&R policies, engagement initiatives makes you appreciate (kick) your team members but at home there is no such HR group. So start giving the kick and see how you get the kick back as the whole atmosphere changes where the spouses start seeing each other’s kick and start giving kick to each other. You will soon forget the current kick that you are giving to each other.
Kick with your supervisor: When was the last time you gave the kick to your supervisor? You now know the kick I am talking about and not the kick that you are thinking right now. Some of the kicking ideas are asking your supervisor on taking up some of his load, understanding his point of view and not always going with a view that he will not agree to what you say, appreciating and accommodating that he has his own limitations on why he does not approve certain request, becoming his high support system and not a high maintenance system. Once you start giving him the kick you will stop getting the kick you got all along and start getting the new kick.
Kick with your organization: Abraham Lincoln once said “Ask not what your country has done for you but ask what you have done for the country”. Just replace country with the company you work for. I know such patriotic thinking may not get a buy-in in today’s environment but remember that your performance is directly correlated with the way you think about your organization. So even though your promotion (kick) has not happened in the timeline you expected it will never happen unless you give the kick back to the organization (delivering to not what was signed up for but much more than that as the market, customer and other stakeholders get their kick by getting more than what they signed up for under the banner of value addition). So think about this and come up with at least 4 kicking ideas that you can give to your organization, your supervisor and your spouse in this quarter.
Kick with yourself: In almost all scriptures it has been written that before you win the world you need to win over yourself (kick with yourself). In almost all leadership programs that I facilitate when I ask participants to come up with two positives and two negatives almost all of them start with negatives first despite my clear instructions to start with positives. This tells me that we humans are wired to look at negatives first and that in a way derails the journey of kick with yourself. If you don’t love (kick) yourself you can never love the world (spouse, supervisor, colleagues, organization) around you. I agree that you may not meet the expectations of the world around you but remember that even a defunct clock performs right twice every day, so when you feel defunct like the stopped clock remember that you are doing minimum two things right every day. These thoughts will help giving you kick and the more you give yourself the kick the more endorphin will get secreted in your body to give kick to all others I talked about earlier.
My kick is writing blogs that can give kick to readers and I hope you found value (kick) in this blog too. Do give as much kick as possible to as many people including yourself during the long weekend and do share your kicking ideas with me so that I can share them in my sessions, future blogs and help create a kicking world for all of us.

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