Life Lessons

The (D)ance of possibilities with Atten(D)ance

Many readers wrote to me on my last blog “Attendance and the Dance in the Atten(d)ance” that they ideally want to dance but with the past experiences they had with their supervisors, head of the department and with the organization as a whole they did not feel like dancing most part of the year except during the DJ at offsite. This blog is the third sequel and like Dhoom 3 movie this will be my third and last sequel on this topic.
To begin let me request you to read two of my earlier blogs “Inside Out or Outside In” and “The Obvious Issue” as they will help create a good warm up to the (D)ance of possibilities I am going to talk about in this blog.
As you start reflecting on the two blogs you start seeing that the past issues have been because we did not understand the obvious issues of our supervisor or our head of the department and the reason we did not understand them because we were not “Inside Out” but were “Outside In” in the interactions.
When we start practicing “Inside Out”, many new possibilities start opening up and we begin to start practicing new ways of living. So one of the possibilities in the new ways of living is to start every day as a new day and every conversation as a new conversation. When this possibility starts manifesting in our lives, no matter how bad (because of your “Outside In” thinking) your boss was yesterday you don’t see him as bad in the new day, no matter what kind of conversation you had yesterday but in the new day you start every conversation as a new conversation . There is a possibility that you are still thinking that it is easy to give such gyaan and I have no idea of your boss but this is the first possibility you have to start creating that there does exist such a possibility of starting every day as a new day and every conversation as a new conversation which eventually will lead to the (D)ance of possibilities with Atten(D)ance.
The second (D)ance of possibility that I want to you to consider is about making a Choice on how you feel every moment. It is very common we hear people saying that he or she makes me angry, he or she puts me off, he or she spoils my mood. In reality nobody makes you angry or puts you off or spoils your mood but your response to those situations makes you angry or spoils your mood. Stephen Covey’s 90/10 Principle is a very powerful concept on understanding choice. If you reflect deeper on this you will see that your boss does not get up everyday morning to make you angry but the anger comes because most of the times you are not able to see the way your boss looks at things (The obvious issue). So let me talk about two bosses and I think most of you would have experienced one of them. Your first boss always likes you to go thru the report with him even though you have given everything in the report. So at 11 PM in the night when you send the complete report with all the supporting documents/annexures you get an immediate response “Lets go thru this report tomorrow morning” and you become angry on what else does he want. The second boss becomes very upset when you go and meet him next day morning to walk him thru the report. In fact the second boss becomes angry and says very harshly that don’t think he is stupid that he cannot read the report on his own. Now let’s look at the two bosses from a behavioral science perspective. In case of the first boss there is a possibility that he was the only child and his father always helped him do his homework and also read the report card for him. In case of second boss there is a possibility that he lost his father at a very early age and he always had to do everything by himself. In general you will not be able to make such a deep connect of childhood of the boss and his behavior today but if you start practicing the (D)ance of possibility that nobody makes you angry but there could be some past issues that is making them do the way they do things and the way they don’t do the things you will start getting new insights. These new insights will help you become a person who can (D)ance with anybody.
I always take inspiration from Jesus Christ especially on the two powerful concepts of “looking within” and “forgiving every day”. First concept of “looking within” is when people were throwing stones at a prostitute he picked up a stone to throw at those people and told them that only those people can throw stone at her who have not committed any sin in their lives. To bring the learning of Jesus we should first look within ourselves and we will find that most of the time we don’t pin point at ourselves before pin pointing at others. The second concept was when he was nailed and he said that Oh lord please forgive them as they don’t know what they are doing. To bring the second learning if I were to forgive (because of obvious issues of others) and start a new day every day and a new conversation everyday (with inside out thinking) there is a possibility that we can make a better world every day for ourselves and people around us. Finally remember that the Sky is same every place in the world and it is only because of the “Obvious Issues” and “Outside In” thinking we have created deep rooted differences.
I hope the above thoughts will trigger some new thoughts of possibilities and help you create a new day every day, a new conversation in every conversation, a choice of looking within and forgiving every day which obviously will help you constantly (D)ance with Atten(d)ance all the year round and not only during the DJ at offshore.
Do share your (D)ance experiences with me and share this blog with your boss in one of the (D)ance sessions.

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